Cremated Remains/Ashes
Collecting your loved one's ashes can be a daunting task, here we give you an insight into what to expect
What to expect when collecting your loved ones ashes
Collecting your loved ones ashes is a personal and emotional moment, often marking a final step in saying goodbye.
If you’re preparing to collect someone’s ashes, it’s natural to have questions about what the experience might be like. Here’s a guide on what to expect, what the ashes will look like, how they are typically returned, and some helpful tips for managing this emotional process.
What do ashes look like?
Ashes are not actually the fine, white powder that some may imagine. Instead, they have a granular texture and can range in colour from light grey to darker shades, depending on factors like the person's bone composition and the cremation process itself.
Human ashes consist purely of bone matter and trace amounts of minerals like sodium and potassium, for this reason, ashes are usually heavier than many expect.
Sodium is the main compound that forms salt. Potassium is a nutritious mineral found in certain foods like potatoes, bananas, broccoli, and spinach.
What container will they be returned in?
Ashes are typically returned into our care from the crematorium in a temporary container. These containers are often either a simple, sturdy cardboard box with the ashes inside a thick plastic bag or a plastic screw top container with the ashes loose inside. It is worth noting that either container is not pleasant to look at and are not ideal for permanent use. We have provided images of these containers below to allow you an insight in what to expect.
Many families choose to transfer the remains into a more permanent urn or keepsake that resonates with the personality or wishes of their loved one.
Upon collection of your loved one's ashes, the crematorium will also provide you with a cremation certificate. This certificate will be entrusted to your care and includes important information such as the cremation number, the date of the cremation and your loved one's details.
All of the above information must match those on the temporary container.
Cardboard Ashes Container
Plastic Screw Top Lid Ashes Container
The Emotional Process of Collecting Ashes
Collecting the ashes can be a highly emotional experience. It’s a symbolic and for many a final connection to someone who has passed away, which can bring a wave of emotions—sorrow, grief, or even a sense of closure. It’s natural to feel a mixture of feelings, and acknowledging these emotions as they come is an important part of the grieving process.
Some people find collecting the ashes overwhelming, while others experience a sense of peace and relief. There is no right or wrong way to feel, so allow yourself to experience your emotions fully.
Tips for Managing the Process
- Bring Support: Consider bringing a friend or family member with you. Having someone there who understands your feelings can provide comfort and support as you collect the remains.
- Take Your Time: Don’t feel pressured to rush through the collection process. We understand that this is a delicate moment and will never push you into collecting your loved one's ashes. We have a no time restraint policy.
- Plan Your Next Steps: Before picking up the ashes, decide on what you would like to do with them. Some people prefer to bring them straight home, while others may take a moment to visit a meaningful location, such as a favorite park or a quiet place to reflect.
- Personalise a Moment of Reflection: You may want to take a moment to honour your loved one as you bring their ashes home. Whether that’s lighting a candle, sharing a memory with family members, or simply sitting quietly in their memory, creating a small moment of tribute can offer a sense of peace.
- Seek Support if Needed: Collecting ashes can stir up unexpected emotions. If you’re finding the process particularly difficult, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We can help you process your emotions and provide support.
Embracing the Journey Forward
Collecting cremated remains is often seen as a final act of responsibility and love. While it can be a challenging and emotional step, it’s also a meaningful one, allowing you to bring a loved one’s memory into a space where you can continue to honor their life.
However you choose to keep, scatter, or memorialise the ashes, remember that this process is part of your personal journey through grief and healing.
Give yourself the patience and compassion to navigate it in your own way and time.
Caskets, Urns and Keepsakes
We offer a vast range of alternative options for your loved one's ashes, whether you are keeping them with you or placing them somewhere they loved.
Due to the vast range of options, we advise you to visit one of our offices and discuss the options with one of our experienced members of staff.
